I am generally not a fan of celebs who tell us how they think we should act politically, as if we do not have a brain of our own, However, I’m giving Sheryl a pass on this because she has so many other redeeming *f.a.t. qualities.

Just looking at her should tell you why she wins the title of *f.a.t.ty (Fit After Thirty Hotty) of the week. She’s got a body of a woman half her age, which should tell all of you that the old attitudes and stereotypes about aging, can be thrown out right along with that boyfriend who didn’t appreciate you (Can anyone say Lance Armstrong?)

Speaking of which, have you ever seen anyone handle such a painful and public breakup with more class than this woman? I imagine fighting for your life after a breast cancer diagnosis probably has a way of putting things in perspective, making a girl a lot less concerned about a broken heart!

So, next to her music, it’s her survivor spirit that I admire most! Attitude is everything when it comes to being a Fit After Thirty Hotty!

In keeping with my theme to showcase a celeb whose positive qualities are so abundant, that I am willing to overlook the quality that is my biggest celeb pet peeve, (a tendency to think that their money and fame gives them license to preach), I’m choosing Matt as our Fit After Thirty Hotty! 

It’s no wonder why I like Matt, because I tend to be attracted to that special mix of qualities that seems to be unique to east coast men. It’s a perfect blending of a simple rather than overstated type of class, boy next door-niceness, traditional values, and pure, unadulterated masculinity and passion. Put all those in a blender, mix it up, and you have yourself a Matt Damon smoothie! (Mind out of the gutter, girls.)

The best thing about guys like Matt is that they place a higher priority on substance and they like normal girls. He could have had any model he wanted, yet he married a relatively average woman, and have you noticed how happy he looks when he’s with her?

It goes without saying that he’s a brilliant actor, but Good Will Hunting is one of my all time favorite movies so I still admire his writing talent the most! And what did he do with all that money and fame once he got it? He started Project Greenlight with Ben Affleck to give unknown writers and directors a chance to make it big too!

He was hot ten years ago, but with every Jason Bourne role he plays, he just keeps getting hotter! Age isn’t hurting this guy’s appeal in my eyes!

I know that you either have to be a football fan or from Arizona, Iowa, or St. Louis to know who this guy is, but since I am from Arizona and do know who he is, I thought I’d share the wealth of such knowledge with every woman who, either isn’t football fan enough, or married enough (husbands know who he is), to know the name that goes with this face. (Your dude might even have a man crush on him).

He’s such a Fit After Thirty Hotty that I had to make Kurt Warner our f.a.t.ty man of the week - especially after Sunday’s Cardinals win over the Cowboys. (Nail biting game, by the way!) I was lucky enough to be in AZ to see the game; and something about the experience of sharing the drool towel with my sister as we ogled him while he sweat his way to victory, reminded me that I’d be doing a disservice to women who don’t watch football, if I didn’t make you all aware of his existence.

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The only time I’ve seen U2 live in concert was December 1987 at ASU in Tempe, Arizona. What I remember most was his butt, and staring at it through the binoculars. Don’t get me wrong. I loved the music and remember it was a great concert, but I more vividly remember staring at his derriere marveling at how tight and round it was. Hey, I was a kid - give me a break.

The thing about Bono is that he’s one of those guys who never seems to age that much. He’s always been hot; but not just for his face, body, and accent, but his lyrics! Any man whose sensibilities, emotions, and artistic talent merge to create songs like All I Want Is You and I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For is worthy of the f.a.t.ty (Fit After Thirty Hotty) title regardless of what he looks like! 

And he’s gotten better with age too. The reason is because 90% of a man’s sexiness comes down to his character and heart - and Bono is pure quality on both fronts. Okay, I know I don’t know the guy personally, but look at the evidence. He’s been loyally married to the same woman for decades; he continues to work as a humanitarian long after he could relax and enjoy his wealth; he was helping to raise awareness about Africa’s problems long before it was popular to do so; his Product Red brand raises money for The Global Fund to fight AIDS, Malaria, and Tuberculosis. He’s tireless in his efforts to make the world a better place. That’s a good heart.

I’m not officially stalking Neil Diamond in the eyes of the law, and I probably haven’t yet earned groupie status, but I am seeing him in concert for the second time in two months tomorrow night, and I’ll see him a third before the tour’s over. The term “everything in moderation” doesn’t really apply to my activities where Neil Diamond is concerned. And why should it? As far as addictions go, his music is a pretty good one to have, right?  And as for the man, I never thought I’d be fantasizing about a dude my parents’ age but I’m not kidding, people! I think he’s downright do-able.

He doesn’t just rock on stage; he rocks in my fantasies too. It’s strange how things change, because I can remember falling asleep at nap time to his music when I was a child, and now I dream about him during nap time. 

He’s always been hot. You might even say delicious in his early years. Look back at any photo of him from the 70’s and tell me it doesn’t ignite every sexual fantasy you’ve ever had.  He’s 67 now, and he’s still got it! Besides his physicality, let’s just examine all the reasons he is our f.a.t.ty (Fit After Thirty Hotty) man of the week.

His voice is sexy even when he’s not singing. Pillow talk with him must be amazing. Secondly, his lyrics are off the charts poetic! Imagine the romantic heart a dude must have in order to be able to write the songs he does! Just sign me up to have his love child right here and now. Here’s the best part. He might just be free of the arrogant ego you would think a guy with his fame and fortune would have. According to someone I know who used to work for the company that handled his PR several years ago, he’s a genuinely nice guy who is extremely polite and kind to everyone.

Like I said, downright do-able.

In the spirit of showcasing a dude who can live up to our female f.a.t.ty pick of the week (Suzanne Somers), we chose a man who also beat cancer to go on to achieve amazing things in his career. We choose Lance Armstrong as our f.a.t.ty (Fit After Thirty Hotty) dude of the week, because we heard he is coming out of retirement for the 2009 cycling season and we think he is the closest thing to the Bionic Man that we can think of!

We Can Rebuild Him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s first bionic man. Lance Armstrong will be that man.

In 1996 when he was diagnosed with testicular cancer, it had already spread to his lungs, brain, and stomach. He had brain surgery and a drug therapy treatment and battled back to return to cycling in 1998. It sounds unbelievable that this guy was back on a bike only two years after beating a deadly disease!

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I’m not a big believer in faking the big “O”, because it’ll only encourage more of what ain’t workin’. BUT who hasn’t loved Meg Ryan for pulling off the hottest non-sexual, sex scene in any movie, with her fake orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally? 

But that’s not enough to make her my female f.a.t.ty (f.a.t. hotty) pick of the week. Not only is she fit, and still beautiful - in spite of sporting the overdone fish lips now and then - but she seems so down to earth, fun, and funny.

She seems very comfortable in her own skin - not trying to relive her twenties, but embracing this stage of her life.  and even taking on the responsibility of raising an adopted child.  She’s also done work for CARE in India which works on empowering women in poor countries.

It’s time for the famous female f.a.t.ty pick of the week! What is a f.a.t.ty you ask? It is a Fit After Thirty hotty. It is a f.a.t.* chick we admire because of her ability to stay healthy and fit, and whom, overall, seems like a cool person to have made fitness such a priority. Fit After Thirty declares Sarah Palin as the famous female f.a.t.ty of the week!

Regardless of which side you are on politically, you have to hand it to her for looking the way she does after five kids! And considering that she just had a baby four months ago, she looks unbelievable!

I can’t begin to imagine finding the time to stay healthy and fit while juggling life as a Governor with raising a large family. I don’t claim to know her fitness regime, and for all I know she doesn’t have one and relies solely on shivering in the bitter Alaska cold to burn calories. Throw in some good genetics, and Alaskan Salmon and you’ve got a hockey mom who gets our vote for f.a.t.ty of the week!!!!