Here’s the scene: Boy meets girl. Boy asks girl out. Boy and girl go to a nice Italian restaurant. (Or, since the boy is on a budget or thinks Olive Garden is a nice Italian restaurant, they go to Olive Garden.) They view the menu. Girl really wants to order the creamy, cheese stuffed ravioli and instead, when the waiter arrives to the table, she orders the low calorie chicken marsala. Why? Because she doesn’t want to look like a pig. Or, she at least wants to appear to be somewhat health conscious.

We’ve all done it. Don’t pretend you haven’t. And now there is a study that proves that to be true, and confirms what we already knew about men - they eat whatever the hell they want regardless of who they are with - male or female.

Here’s the study in a nutshell: Meredith Young, PhD candidate in the Department of Psychology, Neuroscience & Behavior, studied students at three universities in natural eating environments in cafeterias. All cafeterias had a wide variety of food and companion options. 

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Why do people sometimes judge harshly men and women whose list of required attributes in a long term partner includes a fit, healthy body? Not long ago, a friend accused me of being a female version of the movie character Shallow Hal when I refused her attempts to set me up  with a heavyset male friend of hers. “Yes.” I said. “And you know what “Hal” is short for? Hallelujah! Because I’ll be with someone who can keep up with me!”

She didn’t think it was funny. “You’re too picky.” She told me.”  To which I replied, “Comparing me to a movie character won’t make me more open to dating a guy whose activities, energy level, eating habits, overall lifestyle and health for raising future kids are so drastically disparate than mine.” Besides, I had tried overlooking things like that in the past, and knew from personal experience that it just doesn’t work for me.

“By the way”, I went on to explain, “Shallow Hal desiring the more svelte version of Gwynyth Paltrow, as opposed to the obese version, is not a critical flaw in a man, because brain biology compels men to desire those women who are more capable of reproducing and perpetuating the species!”

This is the same brain biology that causes women to seek out, and be attracted to, men who would be good providers. Sure, she gets labeled as a gold digger, in much the same way that Hal is labeled as “shallow” for wanting the healthiest fertile female to bear his children, but in essence, “gold digging” is rooted in her brain biology. And how can you blame a woman for wanting to choose a man who would best be able to provide for their future offspring?  But I have long maintained that fertile women especially, also have a biological need to be concerned with a man’s physicality just as he is with hers. 

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You all know my favorite three *f.a.t. topics in the world are sex, men, and hormone health, so it shouldn’t surprise you that after a posting hiatus of a week or so, I’m chomping at the bit and jumping back in with an article that covers all three in one! 

So, ladies, since it’s not all about us all the time, let’s talk about our men. You love yours, I love mi….I mean, if I had one, I’d love him. In fact, I’d love him to pieces and wouldn’t want any bad thing to befall him. But since I don’t have one, let’s talk about yours. Assuming you aren’t living your own version of Sleeping With The Enemy, I’m sure you want the best health possible for your husband, boyfriend, object of desire, Neanderthal-like animal creature you call significant other……you get the idea. 

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Growing up in Arizona, I was indoctrinated into the belief that fruity, sweet slushy beverages are God’s nectar, not so much by what my mother said, but by what she did. Let’s just say, the blender was her favorite appliance, and also her closest ally in the never ending quest to keep five kids and their friends hydrated during the sweltering summer days of our childhood.

It can be hard to convince adults, let alone kids, to leave the swimming pool long enough to guzzle a glass of bland water when they don’t feel thirsty.  But throw ice and any bright liquid in tall, plastic mugs with straws sticking out of them, and watch what looks like a mass exodus from a body of water that rivals any beach scene from Jaws.

My mom wouldn’t have to say anything; all she had to do was bring the smoothies outside, set them on the mini lawn tables, and step back to avoid the stampede of dripping bodies as we raced from the pool to get the glass that was filled the highest. 

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By: Kristen Townsend

Pick up a copy of any fitness or health magazine, and you are sure to be confronted with images of beautiful, vibrant, beaming couples exercising against spectacular, sunny, mountainous backdrops.  You can almost hear their sweet, encouraging speech to one another, “You can do it!  Only 2 miles to go!  I’m so proud of you!” 

This ideal assumes several things:

A) Both partners enjoy exercise and make it a priority in their lives; B) The couple enjoys one another’s company and finds encouragement in each other’s “coaching”; and C) The relationship regularly incorporates healthy communication.  I hope you and your partner are able to claim A, B and C at all times throughout your relationship.  If, however, you traverse the same peaks and valleys that we do, keep reading…  

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Do you ever wish that your man was a little more understanding about your mood swings and cramps the week before your period?  We sometimes forget that the men in our lives can suffer almost as much as we do during PMS, because they have to live with us! The irony is, the week that you need him to most understand your needs, is the week that he’ll be less receptive to your method of communicating them. (ie. barking, hollering, crying, screaming, bitching).

Okay, some of you will think I’m being hard on my *f.a.t. sisters, because most of you probably aren’t that bad, but a lot of women are like a party you don’t want to attend, when it comes to their PMS behavior. 

So, why not let a guy hear what he needs to hear from another guy? Print out this article from Man’sPlace.com and give it to your boyfriend or husband, and it’ll be like his own little survival guide. The only thing I see missing from his advice is for the man to offer his woman a foot rub or back massage when she has PMS. Maybe you can scribble that in yourself!

When I was about eight, my mom had a doctor’s appointment that required her to relinquish her kid duties to my dad one morning. This meant it was dad’s job to get us ready for school. A bad hair day for me, turned into a bad day all around for my poor dad, who did not know that my bangs were a hairspray-forbidden zone. Unfortunately for dad, he found this out, a couple spritzes too late, amidst screams of: “That’s not how mom does it!”

Sometimes, though, it’s not the kids screaming at dad about his approach, but it’s their moms who find it hard to relinquish control to their husbands. A mom can find herself expressing criticism about the way her man is handling his parenting tasks, even if his way is working just fine. Dudes do it differently - so if your son or daughter isn’t in danger,  just accept it.

Ladies, we can’t on the one hand, want men to take on more domestic tasks, and then bash him for how he does it! Give the guys a break and embrace the idea that there is more than one way to do things.

If it gives you a little more time to work out and take care of YOU, by letting him take over for awhile, then don’t look a gift horse in the mouth! 

See if you can relate to this video on JuiceBoxJungle .

By: Jennifer Bussell

My Valentine’s “date” with myself went off without a hitch for the most part. The first part of the day was hectic, but fun. Chatting over breakfast with close friends was enjoyable.  The casual lunch and birthday celebration with our cousin’s family included memorable “Kodak moments”, and TO DIE FOR chocolate cake.  In the evening, the children collapsed into slumber with smiles on their faces.  While my husband was working, I DID send him that naughty little text…and he returned the sentiments, gratefully. 

So, then it was “me time”. I curled up into bed wearing my little “nightie”, with my journal, my soothing hot tea, and…….my NyQuil. There is something about a congested, sniffling mommy, alone in bed on Valentine’s night that seems so……..unsexy. (But how can I begrudge my children for so lovingly sharing their germs with Mommy right before Valentine’s Day?)

So what is it that I wished to accomplish on this night?  Maybe most women wouldn’t have spent Valentine’s Day alone in bed, trying to find answers to questions that they haven’t yet had the guts to ask. 

Probably. 

Very likely. 

Almost certainly. 

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In keeping with the theme of marriage, happy couples, and honeymoons that we started with our Broke Ass Bride honeymoon contest a couple weeks ago, (and are finishing in true Valentine’s Day-fashion) I am announcing our contest winner!!!  

Who is the happy couple in the photo above, you ask? Drum roll please………Kristen and Matt Townsend of Texas! (Who knew I had *f.a.t. readers in Texas?) The best part is that they are newlyweds! Kristen says she became a daily *f.a.t. follower after googling for how to stay fit in her thirties. This couple breaks a lot of *f.a.t. stereotypes:

1. You don’t have to be 30 to enjoy *f.a.t.!! (Kristen is only 29! Though counting down the days to enter our exclusive 30 and over club, I presume!)

2. You don’t have to be a woman to enjoy *f.a.t.!! (Matt reads and likes some of the *f.a.t. articles……Porn Industry Bailout is his fav.)

3. You don’t have to be fat to enjoy *f.a.t. (Matt and Kristen stay in shape by walking, running, kayaking, and drinking good wine.)

Thank you, Kristen for entering our contest and for joining the *f.a.t. sisterhood. We’re counting on you to encourage your fellow Texans to help us redefine “fat”!!!!

We can’t wait for a followup photo of the two of you enjoying Paradise Pointe Resort! Here’s a teaser: