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P Words For A Good Marriage: Polish, Pamper and Porn?
Today’s post originated with the idea that I should write an article about pampering. Pampering ourselves and pampering our loved ones. (In this exact instant it is dawning on me that the brand of diapers Pampers, was probably chosen because of the meaning of the word pamper.) I love it when I have those light bulb moments! Back on track. I wanted to write about pampering for a few reasons.
1. I stumbled across a thought provoking article on the subject of one way a husband can pamper his wife. (Keep reading).
2. People’s financial situations this holiday season will require many to cut back on spending, so pampering someone can be a meaningful, inexpensive gift to give without breaking the bank.
3. Women are pulled in so many directions that the stress of everyday life is truly taking a toll on our mental and physical health, and pampering is in order!
Studies show that even when mothers match their husbands in hours worked at a job outside the home, the brunt of the child rearing workload is still handled primarily by the mother inside the home. (This is not to say all husbands are lazy. Sometimes men are willing to help, but their wives don’t let them, because of a controlling, protective nature. And sometimes the kids are just at an age where they need more of mom’s skills over dad’s.) Regardless of the reason, the end result is a bunch of stressed out, over-worked women with no down time for themselves.
That must change! BUT, as strongly as I believe that, I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about an article I read by our friends over at Marriage-zone.com, while doing research for this topic. Here’s the background: Dude wants to show his wife how much he loves and cares about her; dude paints her toenails. (Not just once, but regularly).
Even though the guy was not saying a man should paint his wife’s toes as a means to getting sexual gratification for himself, I feel compelled to turn the idea into a porn video in my mind. I imagine the pedicure as pure foreplay by seeing myself panty-less, in a skirt, as my man looks up with my big toe in his hand, examining the nail as he asks sultrily, “is this too short, or do you want it longer?”
In my previous post about kegel exercises, Turn Your Vagina Into A Vice Grip, I gave you an overview of kegels for fitness. I’m glad you all liked the article. But don’t wake me when I’m dreamin’, people; I was just gettin’ started!
I hate to keep beating a dead vagina, but it’s time to talk Kegels once again, because we barely touched the surface the first time. (Those muscles really are hidden and buried nowhere near the surface). This time though, I think I am going to be anointed Super Relationship Saver for today’s Kegel wisdom. In fact, I’m having my graphic designer draw up the monogram that will adorn my chest, right after I write this.
I hear a lot of men complain about their low libido-women, and how women are just not giving “it” to them enough. I would tend to assume that this is due to the man’s emotional disengagement, and a reduction of romantic gestures they put forth when the relationship was young, if it weren’t for one thing. I hear a lot of women complaining of their own low interest in sex. Certainly men’s laziness in the relationship could account for some of the low female sex drives in the world, but not every man can be lazy and disengaged in the relationship, can he? (Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt).
Of course, there are many reasons for a woman’s lack of sex drive which I can address in another article, but the fact is, men want their women to initiate more sex and a lot of women just don’t feel like it. Well guess what? There’s a reason for this. Studies confirm that women’s sexual desire is usually more of a receptive type of desire. What this means is that it is often triggered by thoughts and emotions arising during sexual excitement, not before. I’m channeling some cranky *f.a.t. reader’s voice right now. I hear her saying, “that’s nice, bitch, but if I’m not in the mood for him to be touching me, then how would I get sexually excited enough to trigger my receptive desire?” Good question, Cranky *f.a.t. Reader.
The New Year is coming and I predict that all of you single gals who are seeking men are going to be wanting some new ideas on how to make a love connection in 2009.I’m a huge believer in combining your quest to stay fit with your search for romance, so I’ve put together list of the five sports you might want to try to expand your fitness and dating horizons.
Even though we’re a blog for women, we like to honor men whenever we can! We love men, and we know all of you do too! We all have husbands, fathers, brothers, boyfriends, sons, uncles, grandfathers, and good male friends whom we are very thankful for on this Thanksgiving holiday! (How would we get that heavy turkey to the table without them?)
We women talk a lot about training our bodies and keeping our muscles toned, and for the most part, these conversations are limited to which butt exercises are working to give us a booty we’re proud of, or how we’re keeping our abs toned, or our triceps from going grandma on us. But we almost never talk about the muscles we can’t see - our Gynecological Goddesses.
Ironically, the muscles that are not on display often get ignored in our fitness routines, yet they play such a vital role in the functions that affect our overall sense of well being as women! Hello! Sex. Controlling your bladder. Important things, right?
Any muscles that can keep you from peeing your pants and also give you more and better orgasms are not muscles you want to ignore, ladies! In fact, they deserve to be high on your fitness priority list every week, if not every day! I’m talking about your pelvic floor muscles. These are the muscles that take a beating through childbirth, and the ones you use to stop the flow of urine mid-stream. They must be trained with the same dedication you have toward your pecs and glutes!
A few years ago I met a guy who was much younger than me, and for whatever reason, he was convinced that I was the girl for him. (I wanted to believe it was my uncanny resemblance to Cindy Crawford, but it could have been my unwillingness to live in reality that he liked).
Anyway, as nice, cute and giving as he was, every time we were on a date, I felt like I was with a boy and not a man, and I just didn’t feel the chemistry. I kept thinking that if I continued spending time with him, my feelings of attraction would grow. After all, as a person, he had a lot of qualities that were appealing to me, so I really wanted to like him in that way. But after a handful of dates, I couldn’t do it anymore. I know you’re wondering what that has to do with cauliflower, so I’ll tell you.
Girls, let’s be practical. There’s a limited number of hours in a week. If you’re single, and meeting someone for a great relationship is a priority, then some of those free hours have to be spent on activities that might allow you to meet a man. A lot of women are finding there are just too few hours in a week to do it all. If the time spent going to happy hours and surfing dating sites is cutting into your workout schedule, then it’s going to have a negative effect on your physique, which, in turn, will impact your health and your ability to attract a dude.
So what’s the solution? You combine the two endeavors. You find fitness activities that you like, that keep you in shape, but that also allow you to circulate with potential objects of desire. Welcome to the world of co-ed sports. I just heard the loud communal gasp of every woman who would rather swallow razor blades than be seen by a man without makeup and hair done. First of all, get over yourselves. All of you. Second of all, razor blades will do an unacceptable amount of damage to your trachea.
Last week in my article, Sexual Healing, I alluded to the fact that there are a few things about marriage that scare me. Actually, “frighten the hell out of me” would be a more accurate description. After reading that article, a Fit After Thirty reader forwarded me this amusing chain email, which truly sums up a lot of the reasons behind my trepidation about the institution of marriage. I think a lot of you married women may be able to relate to this. Enjoy the Chris Rock clip as well. I think he represents the male perspective on this subject in his usual hysterical fashion. Here’s the chain email content: Read the rest of this entry »
Today I got a bad case of tit nostalgia, otherwise known as that feeling you get when you look at a photo of yourself from when you were 19 and realize just how perky your boobs used to be. I know all you women who watched yours disappear after breast feeding can relate.
For a petite girl, I had the best set of knockers a girl could ask for - high, firm, round, perfect C cups - and I didn’t even have the wisdom or the body awareness to appreciate them at that age. I didn’t complain about them or find fault with them; I just didn’t think about them much at all, unless they were in someone else’s hands.
I’m not officially stalking Neil Diamond in the eyes of the law, and I probably haven’t yet earned groupie status, but I am seeing him in concert for the second time in two months tomorrow night, and I’ll see him a third before the tour’s over. The term “everything in moderation” doesn’t really apply to my activities where Neil Diamond is concerned. And why should it? As far as addictions go, his music is a pretty good one to have, right? And as for the man, I never thought I’d be fantasizing about a dude my parents’ age but I’m not kidding, people! I think he’s downright do-able.
He doesn’t just rock on stage; he rocks in my fantasies too. It’s strange how things change, because I can remember falling asleep at nap time to his music when I was a child, and now I dream about him during nap time.
He’s always been hot. You might even say delicious in his early years. Look back at any photo of him from the 70’s and tell me it doesn’t ignite every sexual fantasy you’ve ever had. He’s 67 now, and he’s still got it! Besides his physicality, let’s just examine all the reasons he is our f.a.t.ty (Fit After Thirty Hotty) man of the week.
His voice is sexy even when he’s not singing. Pillow talk with him must be amazing. Secondly, his lyrics are off the charts poetic! Imagine the romantic heart a dude must have in order to be able to write the songs he does! Just sign me up to have his love child right here and now. Here’s the best part. He might just be free of the arrogant ego you would think a guy with his fame and fortune would have. According to someone I know who used to work for the company that handled his PR several years ago, he’s a genuinely nice guy who is extremely polite and kind to everyone.
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