Nancy Pelosi Under The Knife

The question of the day is: Will your liposuction and facelift be funding healthcare reform? 

So for those of you who have been debating between diet and exercise or lipo, your choice might be getting easier if politicians get their way. By the time Senators get done with our healthcare reform bill, dieting may not sound so bad compared to a proposed 10% luxury tax on cosmetic procedures such as fat reduction enhancements like tummy tucks, liposuction, and breast reductions.

Of course, once the cat was out of the bag about this crazy idea, angry, wrinkle-bound, beauty conscious people everywhere (myself included) started expressing disdain for it, so none of our esteemed politicians really wanted to take credit for suggesting it.

I’m pretty sure the idea must have been conceived by one of the men on the Hill who doesn’t realize that botox, for a lot of women, is not a “luxury”; it’s a downright necessity! Of course the two guys rumored to have had something to do with the idea are both free of jowl lines, and not yet sagging or bagging.

Gene Sperling: Economic Adviser to the Treasury Department

Peter Orszag: Director of the Office of Management and Budget

Of course, they’re not concerned about cosmetic treatments costing more. They are still handsome. And even if they did have sags and bags, they wouldn’t have to care, because they are men. (Evidenced by how many times we have ever heard anyone comment on Bill Clinton’s bags under his eyes, and aging skin, compared to that of the incessant chatter we’ve heard about Hillary’s frown lines and crow’s feet.)

Hell, I thought men looked out for each other. Shouldn’t they worry that if boob jobs get more expensive, there will be far fewer women in Washington that John Edwards will feel worthy of having affairs with?

Hey guys, look at your esteemed female, elected officials and you will notice not every politician lacking a penis, looks like Sarah Palin!. This could negatively affect your female counterparts’ pocketbooks! Barbara Boxer ain’t gettin’ any younger, people! 

Nancy Pelosi seems to partake in a little nip and tuck now and then, so I’m thinking she should be able to stand firm (wink wink) against a cosmetic “luxury” tax, on behalf of all women. I mean, after all, we are the ones who purchase 90% of cosmetic procedures, and not all of us are “rich” or come anywhere near to making the $174,000 salary that the Senators earn. ( I mean, before the payoffs from lobbyists).

So, ladies, I’d say if you see a breast lift, a tummy tuck, Juvaderm injection, implant, or laser skin treatment anywhere in your future, you’d best get on the phone to your Senators and remind them that the female voting population is made up of the same women who value their affordable fake tatas, lip plumpers and line fillers!