Over the Valentine’s Day weekend, some friends and I were pondering relationships and wondering just why it is that once a couple enters the zone of “committed, long term relationship”, the best part of dating - the long passionate kisses - seem to be replaced by rushed, innocent, little pecks.
This seems to be a phenomenon that applies to both married and non-married couples. (If this doesn’t apply to you in your current relationship, you’re in a good place, but resist the temptation to gloat, because you may be next.) Why does this happen? I don’t know, but the topic got me thinking that the luckiest girls on Valentine’s Day were not necessarily the ones who had a guy who bought them flowers and heart shaped boxes of chocolate.
Sure, this is tradition, and if a girl feels special by receiving these things, and if a man is genuinely giving them to please her romantic heart, I’m all for it.But all too often, these gestures seem obligatory and absent of any genuine emotion behind them. The truly lucky girls are those whose Valentines are absolutely passionate about them, and know how to show it every day. Whether a woman has been with her man for decades, or just newly dating him, she yearns to know that she’s not just the recipient of his heart (the cardboard kind), but that she’s the recipient of his heart.
Passion is truly what women crave, and store bought trinkets on a holiday, though fun, mean little if it is a substitute for what’s missing every other day of the year. Ladies, tell me you wouldn’t all trade whatever you got this year for a deep, slow, passionate, five minute tongue kiss when you walked in the door, followed by some intense eye gazing with the look of his that says “you can do no wrong, because that’s how wonderful I think you are.”
So, since having a fit spirit requires having passion in your life, if the passion has faded and making out with your man is no longer the daily sport it used to be, it’s time to bring it back! And don’t wait for your man to take the lead on this one, ladies. Turn up Mary Chapin Carpenter’s Passionate Kisses for some inspiration, and play out a kissing scene with your man that resembles the love scened in The Notebook and Troy.
Tonight!
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Sometimes it’s easy to get complacent about kissing your man. I have to admit, in my relationship I’m usually the one who cuts off the make-out sessions with my fiance. Sometimes my mind starts drifting to everything else that needs to be done….which is funny, because a great, passionate kiss can only take 30 seconds sometimes. At times I roll my eyes at him, teasing him for being such a “horndog,” but the truth is that if he didn’t try to make out with me all the time, I’d probably feel hurt.
So it’s definitely a two-way street. Women like me need to work on surrendering to our guys’ advances, even if it’s just for half a minute. Humans are the only animals that kiss (I think), so we should cherish it every day!