About six weeks ago, I noticed that my left boob sags slightly more than my right boob. I do not have implants nor any other high risk factors for developing lopsided Lulus, (pregnancy, breastfeeding, mutant ancestors). I did not know that disproportionate droop could happen to natural boobs, as I only associated this problem with Tara Reid, whose famous implants have been the focus of a lot of media attention. I am also not really sure how long this has been going on with me. I’m assuming it has been a gradual process caused by years of wearing substandard sports bras.
At first, I wasn’t sure if I was imagining the uneven sag. I blamed it on my weird bathroom lighting. But after conducting highly scientific experiments in front of no less than 5 mirrors in my house with all variations of light – including natural sunlight through the spare bathroom window, and a flashlight in an otherwise pitch black room, (yes, really), I determined that indeed, left sista hangs unapologetically lower than her right sibling. There was no false assessment at play here. Angles, lighting, wall shadows ( I was hoping), bad eyesight – none of them qualified as reasonable explanations any longer, because indeed, my boobies are crooked.
