It’s stocking stuffer season so I thought it very appropriate, and indeed quite clever, to time this particular post about stockings for the very time of year that you are buying small gifts for stockings! And have I got the best idea for you! GOGO hose, tights, and trouser socks are my new favorite undergarment and fitness/health aid!! In colors like Winter White, Black, Cocoa, Coal, Navy - you can’t go wrong!!

It used to be that the only people who knew what compression hose are, were 1) your grandma who used them after surgery or due to an ailing circulatory system to prevent blood pooling in her lower legs, to avoid  swelling and varicose veins. 2. The owner of the home medical supply store who delivered them to her, along with her toilet stabilizing rails, and 3. your mom - the one you turned to everytime her mom came over, and asked, “why does grandma always wear those ugly looking pantyhose?”

Compression hose later evolved and became one of the weapons in many a pregnant woman’s arsenal against varicose veins and swelling. As PDRHealth.com explains, “Swelling in the ankles and legs commonly occurs during the later stages of pregnancy. As the uterus enlarges, it puts pressure on the vena cava, a large vessel that returns blood to the heart from the rest of the body. This pressure then backs up through the circulatory system, causing increased blood pressure in the legs, ankles, and feet. Ultimately, this pressure causes fluid to leak into the surrounding tissue.”

Nowadays though, compression technology has gone mainstream - as it should have! And aren’t we better off for it? I’ll answer that for you. Yes we are!

First of all, who among us doesn’t want to either prevent varicose veins or keep them from getting worse, without throwing away fashion and sex appeal right along with our belief in Santa? Aren’t we all on a quest to hide the fact that all the holiday eating from Halloween on, is making our bellys rival that of Santa’s?

What woman do you know who wouldn’t love hiding her saddle bags a bit more, and having a tighter looking ass underneath her clothes? (Not to be confused with the other kind of ass as seen in my Valentine’s Post). Hell, I’ve worn compression hose or tights on the plane under my clothes ever since I learned several years ago, about the risk of deep vein thrombosis due to long flights!! And for any of you or your friends who perform any kind of athletic activity, compression tights are amazing for improving performance and recovery time.

On Scott Dunlap’s, A Trail Runner’s Blog, he explains the technology like this:  “The concept is that by applying pressure to the surface of the skin with elastic fibers, this compression (along with the muscular pump effect of the muscles in action) aids in the circulation of blood. Athletes and manufacturers looking for an edge found ways to apply this to improve both performance and recovery, and soon companies like Nike, Under Armour, and others turned it into a fashion play as well.”

So why do I think GOGO stockings should go in the stocking of every woman you know? Because it doesn’t matter who she is, what her personality, lifestyle or tastes are, these leggings will please her! Here is my proof:

The Curvy Woman -  Otherwise known as the woman who doesn’t want her junk to jiggle and wiggle, like a bowl full of jelly. It’s cool for Santa, but not her. She’s got a love handle to hold in, or a bit of a Jennifer Aniston baby bump (in other words, a flat stomach to anyone looking but the tabloids which means she’s not pregnant but a rag mag would say she is anyway so she wants to hold it in a bit more in case a camera is near). She’s the gal who may have a few extra pounds and bigger thighs than she wants. Help her feel *f.a.t. not fat - GOGO stockings!

Cold Woman: For the woman who finds winters too cold, but is tired of bitching at her husband that he likes it too cold in the house, while still wanting to be more sexy to him than the Snuggie  allows her to be, the GOGO tights will keep her warm!

The Busier Than God Woman  - Otherwise known as the On Her Feet Way Too Much-gal. You know the one. She never sits for any length of time unless it involves a bowel movement and a toilet. She’s always on her feet, so her legs never get a rest. She commits to bake twelve dozen Christmas cookies for two cookie exchange parties, and one child’s holiday party - all decorated with frosting and sprinkles (5 hours in the kitchen on her feet).

She has 14 family members still to shop for which will require 2 trips to two different malls and lots of standing in long lines at 7 different stores (7.5 hours on her feet); She has to stand in line at the post office (otherwise known as hell’s garden-not quite as bad as hell, but close enough you might as well be there) to mail 6 packages (16.4 hours on her feet), followed by standing in line at the mall Santa to take 44 photos to have just the right one for the holiday card (4.5 hours on her feet), all before singing with the choir in her church Christmas concert (2.2 hours of standing). Her legs and feet are tired. She needs some support! GOGO tights!!

The Jock Woman - Otherwise known as the woman who wants to ensure that she can eat that extra piece of pecan pie on Christmas Eve! You know her: She’s the one who braves sub zero temperatures to do her 6 a.m. two hour run, hits the gym for kickboxing class after work; spends Saturdays on the mountain biking trail with her boyfriend followed by a hike down the Grand Canyon preparing for her tryouts on The Amazing Race.  The girl needs quick muscle recovery. GOGO tights!

The Bit Off More Than She Can Chew Woman - Otherwise known as the Generic Battery-Should Have Used Energizer-Fizzling Too Early In The Day Woman. You know her too. The gal whose heart and inability to say no always trump common sense and and the amount of hours that exist in the day. After a full week of work she volunteers to “man” the angel tree at the mall, organize the the food drive for the homeless shelter, the bake sale for her kid’s school and attend two holiday parties for both her and her husband’s jobs - all in one Saturday. She needs the energy that better circulation will give her with a bonus boost to her booty in her party dress! GoGo Hose!

The Average Working Woman - She’s the everyday gal who sits too much. She’s sitting in her car for the hour drive to work. She’s sitting at her desk at work for 7 hours a day followed by another hour in the car to get to her kid’s basketball game where she sits for another hour on hard bleachers, followed by another 20 minutes in the car - sitting. At which point she returns home to sit with the kids at the dinner table to eat and help with homework! She needs circulation help. GOGO Hose!

Santa’s Woman - Santa swears by them for Mrs. Claus. She wears them and she’s like a thousand years old - and still no varicose veins!

See? I told you they are perfect for any woman’s stocking you have to stuff! (Or any pair of legs you have to stuff in stockings).